Italian Mothers

Italian Mothers:



Rocco excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.

He says, 'Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry.'

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

He then says,

'Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry?'.

She immediately replies, 'The one on the right.'

That's amazing, Ma.

You're right.

How did you know ??????'

The Italian mother replied:

'I don't like her.'.

 

It's Tax Time

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy three
nickels to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back.

The boy coughs up two of the nickels but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her, saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before; it was fantastic! Are you a doctor?”

”No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the I.R.S.”


Chris Saulnier

Gray, Maine

 

A Priest, A Rabbi...

So a priest and a rabbi decide to go fishing.

They show up at the dock, and the priest has two ten year old boys tagging along.

The rabbi pulls him aside and asks ‘What’s with the two boys, why are they coming along?’

‘We’re going to screw ‘em’ replies the priest...

‘Out of what?’ replies the rabbi.