Stimulus check

This will guide you

with your next stimulus check.


Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:


Q.. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A.. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:




* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .


* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs..


* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .



* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...



* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .




* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .






* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:


1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.


(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !


No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

 

stimulus

what if i don't like tattoos?

 

get a piercing then.

 

hmmmmm

so we should stop eating mex food? thats going to suck

 

Mexican Food= Burn's going in BURN"S coming out.

 

Thats Hillarious

You forgot to mention buying race car parts....that's like my national past time with or without money. Noel Manton of Manton Engineering and Mike Strasberg of B&J transmissions were still in the states when I talked to them the other day and I'm sure they would appreciate the business.....lol

Now that I've got my shameless plug out of the way I'll just wish everyone well.

Trevor Sherwood

 

Thanks

Thank you for the plug. You Did Good!!!!

Noel Manton

 

Stimmy= Hey Buckweat whatch gona do wif yo stim eless check?

Buckweat=I's gona buy me a wotamelon.

Stimmy= Nooooo yos gota buy somen bigggg.

Buckweat= Ok i's gona buy me a BIG wotamelon.